I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
