is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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