I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
