Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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