we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
