He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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