I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My vagina is officially offended.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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