You smell like a Billy Joel song
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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