she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
