So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
