omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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