Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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