we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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