chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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