Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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