Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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