I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
