she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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