just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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