Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
