yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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