Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
