SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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