And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
