I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
