Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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