Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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