My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
