quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
