I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
