new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are two peas in an std pod
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize