I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want to make out with him forever
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
