are you still at the devil's house?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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