Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
