already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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