How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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