Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
