He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
