I wish my penis had an off switch
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
