I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so that wasnt chicken after all
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
