i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need to sanitize my soul.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
