I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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