Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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