I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize