oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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