those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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