So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize