we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
