Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
