Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
