What a fucking waste of an outfit
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
