I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
