I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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