im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
