One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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