I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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