Only a mothe r could love this liver
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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