Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
