Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
